A woman's view of hunting…with men

guns, dogs and birds

I Expected Nothing Less

Yesterday was a very busy full day. There was the normal Saturday grocery store excursion and walking in the dogs, plus it was also my birthday, so I had a few extra planned outings. A friend and I got manicures and lunch, margaritas included, then a birthday party for my three year old granddaughter and dinner out afterward. A very full fun day, except for one little thing, Orso.

All day long Orso was just lying around doing his usual dog thing, eating, sleeping and more eating. Orso was lulling us into that false sense of security where we believed that when we left giving each a rawhide chew, both would be happy and content until we came home. Not! We weren’t even gone that long, only four hours. Of course it was all my fault.

As we pulled back into the driveway, the dogs were at one of the windows barking away, glad to see us. I walked into the house to let the dogs out while Mitch put the car in the garage. The first thing that greeted me was the can of lunch size soup on the dining room floor. Unopened, but it had definite teeth marks in the plastic lid. I continued on into the kitchen and saw some large white flecks on the floor. Closer inspection revealed they were crushed eggshells I was saving for the garden. Must not have been too tasty. The bag on the counter that held the ten cans of soup I planned on taking to work was missing two cans and I had only found one so far. I turned and noticed that the butter I left on the counter height kitchen table was missing in action also.

The reason we bought the counter height table was to keep the dogs from reaching the table top and liberating any contents residing on said table. Evidently we were wrong again! Now I was on a hunt for one more can of soup and a butter container. I found the soup can in the living room with lots of teeth marks. Orso must have really wanted to try the chicken noodle soup. There were indentations in the metal lid but didn’t quite get through it, lucky me. Found the can of soup now in search of a half full container of butter. I found the empty container of butter and its lid lying inches away on the bolster bed. Orso carried it in to enjoy in a more comfortable setting. The container had multiple teeth marks punched through the plastic and the inside had been licked so clean there was nothing to wash out for the recycle bin.

A half pound of butter, mind you not margarine, oh no, it was real dairy butter that he consumed in a matter of minutes, meaning he’ll probably be very poopy for a few days. Some dogs might get sick after consuming a half pound of butter, but not Orso, he’ll breeze right through this and go on like nothing had happened. Because Orso is a lab, I am not worried a bit. Labs are built different, land sharks that eat anything that doesn’t eat them first and nothing seems to bother them. I know this from experience, first with Buddy our yellow lab, then with AJ our black lab, whole consumed thirty chocolate candy bars and the wrappers at one sitting and never even burped.

Why am I blaming it all on Orso, because in nine years Charlie has never initiated any counter surfing, no he waits and lets someone else do the dirty work and then enjoys the buffet too. Orso is a lab through and through, his stomach is his number one concern. I think it talks to him all day, “Feed me, feed me”.

What a fitting end to an otherwise great day.

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March 23, 2014 - Posted by | Creative Writing, dog ownership, Dogs, humor, short story | , , , , ,

12 Comments »

  1. I can’t say I want to hit the like button! I’d go mental.

    Which is the entire reason I won’t have a lab or lab mix, or any type of terrier, or a sheepdog… Leaves me very little choice in dogs over here! Sorry your birthday fun was rather ruined by a soup-search. Bad Orso, didn’t you know it wasn’t YOUR day?!?

    Comment by heretherebespiders | March 23, 2014 | Reply

    • I should have known he was waiting for his moment. But if I didn’t have these guys what would I write about?

      Comment by susank456 | March 23, 2014 | Reply

      • All that good birthday stuff :) I know, I know. I’ve been dead quiet myself lately.

        Comment by heretherebespiders | March 23, 2014

      • Maybe Spring will spur some interesting ideas.

        Comment by susank456 | March 24, 2014

  2. Orso and I would have a great time together, but not at my house. My person hides all the food and puts me in dog jail when she leaves the house. Yesterday she forgot to lock me up when she left for a few minutes. I got cat food! Yum! – Oh, and happy birthday!

    Comment by Bongo | March 23, 2014 | Reply

    • You and Orso would get along famously. Thank you for the birthday wish.

      Comment by susank456 | March 24, 2014 | Reply

  3. I wanted to wish you a happy birthday, Susan – until I continued reading the rest of the post.

    Well,you did have a nice time with your friend – lunch and all :-)

    Cheers,
    Eric

    Comment by Eric Alagan | March 23, 2014 | Reply

    • Yes I did, and thank you for the thought.

      Comment by susank456 | March 24, 2014 | Reply

  4. Boy, boy do I remember those Lab days…or should I say “daze.” Labs are a breed unto themselves :-)

    Comment by Kirsten | March 24, 2014 | Reply

    • You are so right, labs are a breed unto themselves. Frustrating and oh so loving at the same time. They keep me on my toes that’s for sure.

      Comment by susank456 | March 24, 2014 | Reply

      • Smart as a whip too. We have Goldens now, but labs will always be my favorite :-)

        Comment by Kirsten | March 24, 2014

      • Mine too.

        Comment by susank456 | March 26, 2014


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