Tag Archives: journaling

by

I’m Mad as Hell…I Just Don’t Get It

I don’t get it.  Right now I’m so mad and frustrated I’m not even sure how to write what I want to say.  I just heard on the news that there is a bill in Missouri to make it legal to shoot mountain lions.  Just because.  Now granted I haven’t read the entire bill, but there is already a law making it only legal to kill a mountain lion if it is threatening you or your livestock.  I don’t need a law for that.  Common sense says that if something, man or animal, is threatening me or my family (dogs included), I have no qualms about killing the threat.  But to just kill something for giggles and grins is totally repugnant to me. 

Why do we do this?  We build and destroy the habitat of wildlife and are then outraged when the deer eat our hostas, the raccoons tear up our trash and there are mountain lions walking through our backyard.    Why are we so myopic that the world is all about us?  I’m not a total tree hugger, but my god when do we stop and start being the caretakers and good stewards of this world?

Okay, I’ll come down off my soapbox, but I’m still pissed as hell.  I just don’t get it.

by

I Got Rhythm – Not!

When I was supposed to be concentrating on my breathing and clearing my thoughts in yoga class, I started thinking about my performance or lack there of, at my last Zumba class.  I was thinking about Zumba class partially because it was on my mind and partially because I don’t dare totally relax in the breathing exercise for fear of falling asleep.  Mitch swears that I snore and even though I know I don’t snore, God forbid some fluke accident and I did maybe snore, I would be mortified.  And that would be the end of yoga.  Yoga classes twice a week and Zumba class once a week are my most recent attempt to get back in some semblance of shape.  I really love yoga class and the way I feel since starting the class last summer.  I can do a tripod again, something I hadn’t been able to do for decades.  I can’t remember the yoga name for it, but we called it a tripod in school.  A tripod is where you are on your hands and knees.  You lower your head to the mat between your hands, with your arms bent at a right angle, then bring your knees up and place them on your bent arms and balance yourself on your head and hands.  When you get really good, you can move up to a headstand, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon.  Since I’ve had such great success doing yoga, I figured I’d branch out and take more challenging classes, like Zumba.  Yeah right.

I’ve had two classes so far, the first with two other women and the second was just me alone with the instructor.  I really like my instructor.  She is the sweetest person.  Young in shape and she says positive things to me.  I stood behind her off to the side so that I could watch her and myself in the mirror.  Big mistake!  I should have just watched her and not me.  Her moves were fluid and in perfect rhythm to the music, while I was stiff, graceless and behind on every move.  She would signal the upcoming move but half the time I was going the wrong direction, doing the move backwards, sideways or not at all.  Basically I suck at Zumba.  Maybe I was wearing the wrong clothes.  A baggy t-shirt and sweats are not especially sexy or hot looking when trying to dance to sultry Latin tunes.  Even the creepy old guy that came to gawk in the doorway took one look at me and ran screaming into the street.

Halfway through the class, as I was sucking air, sweating like a racehorse and becoming even more wooden in my moves, it dawned on me, maybe I should take up kickboxing.  I don’t have to be able to sway my hips in a sexy manner when doing a roundhouse kick.  I think I can do tough, because fluid and rhythm are definitely not in my body’s vocabulary.

by

My After Christmas “To Don’t” List

Every year everyone always makes “To Do” lists either before the holidays or after and somewhere on the list is usually lose weight, (which never happens), payoff credit cards, (also which never happens) and get in shape, (but which shape is not clearly defined).  Well this year I’m going for a different approach.  I’m making a “To Don’t” List.  Because as a kid growing up, the thought of punishment for the crime bothered me more than the reward system.  We’ll just have to see if this works out better for me.

My “To Don’t” List includes the following”

Don’t dwell on what I can’t change

Don’t worry so much about the future, it will take care of itself

Don’t put off telling Mitch, the rest of my family and friends how much I love them and need them in my life

Don’t forget to play everyday

Don’t forget to laugh out loud everyday

Don’t let the negative people in my life infect me

Don’t be afraid to walk up to a total stranger and start up a conversation (you never know what you’ll learn)

Don’t ever walk around with a frown it makes me look old

Don’t refuse to try new wines, food or adventures

Don’t stop plotting something evil every day, (because evil is almost always more fun)

And most importantly,

Don’t look back on my life and ever say I wish that I had done that. 

This is what I’m going to try and accomplish from this day forward.  I’ll let you know how it works.

by

I Need a Little Cheese with this Whine

I am becoming a non functioning adult.  This year I am so unprepared for Christmas.  In years past, I always had the Christmas cards mailed by the tenth of December, I haven’t even bought any yet and it’s the twelfth!  I made clear lists and knew exactly what to get everyone.  Not this year, I have no ideas and there is no inspiration in sight.  I used to love the hustle and bustle of shopping, getting out there and finding that special gift for each one.  Now the crowds are claustrophobic and my patience is short.  After standing in the checkout line for over forty-five minutes at Cabelas Saturday, (the first stop) on our annual shopping trek, my enthusiasm started waning and after the half hour wait in line at Nebraska Furniture Mart, I was ready to call it a day.  And we hadn’t started shopping for everyone else. 

I was excited for Christmas back in October, now not so much.  I need more time, more ideas and the energy to execute.  Is this stress or lack of interest?  I’m suffering from input overload.  I need a spa day, but don’t see that happening anytime soon, I don’t have the time.

by

No Way to Start the Day

There is nothing worse than putting on your eyeliner and a GIANT HUGE spider drops on the countertop not two feet away from you.  I almost lost my eye.  Stupid spider didn’t even have the good manners to drop slowly on a web trailer.  No, he just free fell and landed hard.  I think he was slightly dazed from the fall because there was a long moment from him landing, me screaming and him running off.  If the countertop was anything else besides granite, I think he would have left a dent.  Of course the spider then ran toward the back of the countertop and disappeared.  Lucky me, I still have one eye left to do, and my sink is in the corner, leaving me vulnerable to a sneak attack by the rabid arachnid.

Mitch as usual looked at me with that condescending expression, head tilted to the left and down. I moved the Kleenex box, the huge spider ran out from behind and off the countertop to the floor.  That’s when the screaming started again.  Now it was on the floor and on the move.  Luckily, Mitch saw it first and smashed it with his fist, yuck.  I made him put the smooshed spider in his trashcan – not mine, then wash his hands WITH soap.

Thank god I can at least go to work with both eyes done.

by

Summer Sizzles

It’s been as hot a summer as it was as cold a winter last winter, comparatively.  I’ve discovered that I don’t handle the heat as well as in the past.  I’ve never handled the cold well though.  There was a ton of snow and the cold lingered on and wouldn’t go away.  Even the dogs got tired of the cold and lingering snow.  We couldn’t wait for summer, everyone kept saying, “I promise not to complain when it gets hot.” 

We didn’t get to enjoy spring this year.  It was short lived and not very pleasant weather wise.  Too much rain each time it rained.  And I realized the other day that the year is half over and another winter is coming.  We could use some rain and hopefully the heat wave will subside a bit, but I’m not ready for winter.  And as far as I’m concerned, fall can wait a bit before it shows up.  The days move too fast.  At work each day you can’t wait til quitin’ time, one day closer to Friday and on Friday you can’t wait til it’s Saturday.  A never ending cycle.  I found myself wishing my life away.  And I’m too old to be wishing away what time’s left.  (I’m not that old, but too old to be wishing it away.)

So even though it’s hotter than hades right now, I’m not wishing for winter.

by

The Great Bathroom Remodel (formerly known as The Gutting of the Bathroom)

So many weeks have passed since we started the Great Bathroom Remodel.  It is now the middle of July and we started in April.  And to think that I was so sure with the two of us on vacation together we could knock out the demolition and renovation in one week, maybe two tops.  Silly me.  You can tell I have never been involved in such a huge undertaking.  I guess I really do live in a fantasy world. 

Demolition is over and rebuilding is underway.  There have been interruptions galore.  One week in the heat to replace the brake lines in the station wagon.  A few days here and there to help friends work on their cars.  Mitch just can’t say no.  Not to mention one huge temper tirade.  I thought that was the end right then and there.

The floor is tiled, the bath tub has been installed and most of the sheetrock has been hung.  Mitch is busy sanding the sheetrock as I write this.  He even has the floor to ceiling medicine closet built.  He wired the lights that will go over mirrors, cut the holes that will hold the mirrors and has plumbed all the water lines and drains for the sinks and tub.

I bought the wall paint and primer and am ready to start as soon as all the sheetrock has been hung and sanded.  The hold up now is the staining of the cabinets.  I had one cabinet stained, but because of the heat and humidity it didn’t turn out well.  The surface of the cabinet doors had dust and grit embedded in the stain.  So we had to bring them inside to the basement where it is much cooler than the garage and re-stain after sanding off all of the gritty stain.  I just love to redo everything I’ve already done.  But even in the basement with the air conditioner running, the stain is slow in drying.  We have to have the one cabinet that will go over the toilet done and in place before he can hang the last of the sheetrock.  I have two cabinets left to stain.  At this rate, I might be done staining by the second coming.

We decided on recessed lighting but haven’t found any we like yet  We haven’t picked out the counter top for the floor cabinet.  We haven’t even gone to look at anything yet.  And there’s the matter of the shower door / curtain.  We can’t decide which way to go.  Shower door or shower curtain.  Any suggestions? 

We’re still married, though at times it’s been close.

by

Is Journaling the Way to Go?

I’ve been told that journaling your thoughts are very important.  Sometimes I’m not so sure.  I have feelings and emotions that I would love to express but can’t tell anyone nor can I write them down.  If I write it down and someone was to read it, could hurt their feelings.  I was raised to be very cognizant of others feelings and to not intentionally hurt someone.  I know how I would feel if it were me.

I’m not talking about anarchy or murderous thoughts.  You know when the everyday events in your life just get to you.  Those little feelings and resentments just start to build and build.  I feel that I’m getting slammed from all sides, work, home, life in general.  Just feelings of being helpless to change my life and not having the courage to stand up for myself.  If I write it down, then I might see how trivial and small the issues really are.  Maybe that’s the point of journaling.