Tag Archives: walking

by

It’s a Conspiracy

My dogs are trying to kill me.  I’ve suspected this for a while now, but after our walk this morning I’m sure of it.  Yesterday, they were straining against the leash searching the dark for an unknown opportunity to jerk me around like a puppet.  This morning I saw the deer a fraction of a second before they did, but not soon enough to rein them in before AJ and Orso lunged forward to give chase.  AJ weighs in at seventy five pounds while Orso weighs a mere ninety five pounds for a combined weight of one hundred seventy pounds, just a bit more than me.  Not to mention the difference in muscle mass.  I come out the loser on both counts and they know it.  The only thing I have in my favor is opposable thumbs.

Charlie trying to get a better angle at the deer made a quick turn from being on my right to circling around behind me and lunge forward on my left, with the leash positioned perfectly behind my knees.  My only saving grace was that he bumped into the other two keeping me from crashing to ground on my butt.  They dragged me about a half of dozen steps forward before I was able to get them under control with my steely voice. I really screamed loudly enough to wake the neighborhood.  The three heathens didn’t even have the good sense to pretend to look repentant. 

I don’t understand it.  I am the bringer of food.  I take them hiking and swimming.  I’m a good time.  Why would the dogs want me dead?  Just because I make sure they get a bath every two weeks in the winter and at least weekly in the summer.  More often depending on what they smell like.  I make them behave, no chasing the cat or running up and down the neighbor’s fence taunting their dog.  I don’t let them eat the disgusting dead thing they have found.  That couldn’t be it, could it?  Surely not.  Maybe I should sleep with one eye open.

by

Something is Out There

I am always on alert when I walk the dogs in the mornings.  Mainly because it’s dark and I don’t want to get caught off guard when a critter moves causing the dogs to try and give chase with me as the boat anchor on the other end of the leash.  This morning though the dogs started off on high alert as soon as we walked out the door.  Charlie with his head high sniffing the air, catching the tantalizing scent of something.  Orso had his head cocked, with his ears up and turned forward listening to the predawn noises.  As we started off on the walk, Orso and Charlie were straining at the leash, pulling ahead searching the dark for the unknown threat or possible prey.  I reined them back closer to me in an effort to avoid having my shoulders dislocated while I searched the dark for movement too.  I strained to hear any sounds of a possible threat, but the wind was too strong, blowing the dead leaves and bushes all around, making it impossible for my sorry ears to pick up the sound of any imminent danger.

The dogs were keenly aware that something was out there but not sure where yet, jerking back and forward, working to pick up any clue to find the unknown early morning intruder.  Because of their actions, I started imagining what could possibly be out there, watching us.  I have a very vivid imagination and being an Underworld and True Blood fan, I came up with all sorts monsters and creatures out there in the dark waiting, watching and tracking us.  It was a toss-up between, vampires, werewolves or mountain lions.  I also threw in muggers, murderers or the random escapee from the insane asylum.  I was able to concoct a pretty good story about a harrowing encounter with a very large mountain lion during the walk.  Of course, it all worked out and now I have a pet mountain lion.  Not really, but it’s fun to pretend. 

Whatever was out there in the dark watching us, moved off because about halfway through the walk, both dogs calmed down and focused on the task at hand, finding the perfect bush to pee on.

by

The Color Purple

I decided to start the new year off with a renewed commitment to take the dogs hiking more.  Bright and early New Year’s morning I loaded up the dogs and my new camera and headed off to the park.  The morning was cold and clear with a moderate breeze out of the northwest.  I figured that most or all of the new year’s revelers would still be in bed and we would be all by ourselves on the trails. I was right, no one was around.  The dogs were excited, pacing around in the back of the station wagon as I parked the car.  The barking started and didn’t stop until I opened the back and let them out. 

Walking down the long hill to the trailhead, was the easy part.  The hard part would be coming back to the car and having to walk UP the hill after hiking four or five miles.  I definitely need to get a pedometer.  The dogs ran back and forth, sniffing the air, the ground and everything in between.  Charlie as usual was hunting.  Charlie is always hunting.  He lives to hunt and hunts everything.  It doesn’t matter what, mice to deer, as long as it moves and breathes air, he hunts it.  AJ and Orso were more concerned with sticks and branches to play tug of war with.  Chest slams, grabbing the back of the neck and wrestling was the highlight of the morning. 

We were about a mile and a high from the car and I had already taken a ton of pictures, when we crossed a creek and started up the hill on the other side.  I stepped on a frozen patch of dirt and ice, and started to slip.  I knew I was going down so I made sure to save the camera and grabbed it with both hands to hold it up and out of the way, leaving me to fall hard with the only thing to break my fall was the large pointed rock and my thigh.  I felt this burning searing pain in my left thigh and thought for a minute that I wasn’t sure I could get up.  As I slowly stood upright, Charlie ran up to make sure that I was okay.  As soon as the burning subsided and I realized nothing was broken, I headed off down the trail with the dogs.

After I got back to the car and loaded up the dogs, it dawned on me that it would probably be prudent to start packing a backpack with a small first aid kit, just in case.  The bruise didn’t show up right away.  It took a day for my thigh to turn purple, but when it finally did, it TURNED PURPLE!  I haven’t been able to lay on my left side in bed all week.  I guess I’m lucky I didn’t break anything, skin or bones.

by

My Black Friday

While most everyone else was either fighting the crowds at the malls or surfing the web for bargains, I decided to spend my Black Friday a bit differently.  Mitch opted to work overtime, to pay for the new alternator the dog hauler just had to have after I spent a small fortune at the grocery store.  Had I known the alternator was going to go out, I would have waited to buy some of the extras.  Sorry I digress, (a sign of old age).  I thought that since I was on my own for Black Friday and crowds of strangers, each ruder than the next, are not my idea of fun, I took the dogs hiking.  They didn’t care where we went as long as they were with me, so it was a win-win situation. 

So I loaded them up and headed off for a morning of tearing around out in the woods at break neck speeds.  For three dogs that normally spend their days looking like large lumps on the bed, laying around sucking up oxygen and conserving energy, it’s a whole different story when we take them out to the woods, they turn into three energizer bunnies, going and going and going.  I parked the car at the top of the hill with about a half mile hike to the bottom where the trail starts.  Which means the way back to the car is at the TOP of the hill, about a half mile hike UPHILL to the car.  As soon as the dogs figured out where we were, they couldn’t wait to get out and run around.  Orso started barking and pacing back and worth, because I wasn’t moving fast enough for him.  I opened the tailgate and out came the three happiest dogs.  The only thing that could make their day any better would be if there was peanut butter cake there too.

The day was chilly with gusty winds and clouds covering the sky, not the prettiest day but definitely not the worst.  We were the only ones around so the dogs could run and sniff to their hearts content.  After the hike I gave each one a bath so now I have pretty dogs – Bonus!   I can’t think of a better way to work off turkey and all the fixins.

by

I Tortured My Dogs Today

I tortured my dogs today.  I tortured them viciously, remorselessly.  I did it with malice and premeditation.  I was the ultimate evil pet owner.  Charlie tried to escape the onslaught by huddling deeply in one of the dog beds.  He looked up at me with pitiful soft eyes, begging for mercy.  Orso jumped up on the bed and curled into a ball hoping for leniency, bracing for the worst.  AJ stood silently by me looking up at me with soft loving eyes hoping for a reprieve and letting me know he loved me even though I was not the loving pet owner he deserved. 

But I’m the worst pet owner any dog would ever have.  I wielded my instrument of torture with the precision of a skilled surgeon.  I worked quickly, leaving the dogs no escape from their fate.  All three knew the worst was yet to come.  I showed no outward emotion on my face, but inside I felt a degree of satisfaction, maybe even a little evil pleasure at their despair.  Yes, I was enjoying this.

They finally gave in and hung their heads knowing there was no escape and gave into the inevitable.  My instrument of torture?  A leash. I made my “water” dogs go for a walk in the rain.

by

Stinky Dog

What is the attraction to dogs with dead disgusting thoroughly gross smelling animal carcasses?  And it’s not only animal carcasses, it’s animal poop, urine or the likes that dogs love.  Charlie especially.  The more wretched the better.  I’ve lost track of the number of times Charlie would be off exploring on our walks, then come racing back to me with a proud expression of excitement on him, as if he’d won the lottery.  He would smell so bad I would barely be able to get close enough to put the lease on him and take him home for a bath in the basement garage.  Because no dog will come into my house smelling like that. 

This hunting trip was no different.  Monday, last day of the trip, Mitch and I were working a small stand of tall prairie grass, about the width of a football field and the double the length.  Perfect for four hunters, but also manageable for two.  We’d made the trip from one end to the other without any success and decided to walk back through one more time, just to give it a complete sweep.  I was in the middle of the field and Mitch was close to the south edge, when I heard Mitch hollering at Charlie, “No Charlie, get up.  Quit!”

I asked him what was up and Mitch told me that Charlie had found a deer carcass and did the stop, drop and roll.  He came up thoroughly pleased with himself.  Charlie came running over to me for a whiff.  Lucky me.  Both Mitch and I said simultaneously, “You’re getting a bath today, Buster!”

Feeling sorry for the dead deer and sorrier for me, because I was the giver of bathes, I restarted working the field.  We hadn’t made it twenty feet when Charlie came upon more remains of another dead deer.  Thinking he’d hit the jackpot, Charlie dive bombed head first into the disgusting pile of bones, fur and flesh.  I yelled at him to stop, but he was in stinky dog nirvana.  I finally had to use his shock collar to get him to stop.  Charlie was so proud of himself, he strutted up to Orso with his head high, as if to say I am the king of stink!  Smell me I smell absolutely wonderful. 

What a stinker, literally.

by

Walking The Dogs

Walking the dogs at 4:30 in the morning has its’ advantages and disadvantages.  Granted, most people wouldn’t purposely choose to be up, let alone walking their dogs at 4:30 in the morning.  But because of our schedules, Mitch works a very early shift and me trying to fit everything in, walking the dogs at that time is the most convenient.  Particularly since I haven’t showered and put on any makeup yet (I’m pretty scary without makeup).

One of the advantages to walking the dogs very early in the morning is that it is pretty unlikely to meet other walkers with or without dogs.  No one else wants to lose their precious slumber time.  So we’re pretty much alone making our early morning jaunt a pleasant walk.  I can pretend that we’re walking along in some remote wilderness instead of the city suburbs.  The tiny little city we live in has very few street lights making the walk mostly in the dark with most of the illuminations coming from people with porch lights left on overnight.  Another plus- no traffic.  No one else is up yet, so no cars to worry about.  Once in a while the paper man will cross our path, but only if he’s running late. 

It’s a lot cooler in the morning, which is much easier on the dogs, especially after this summer.  This summer has been a blast furnace with temperatures in the 100′s most days and mornings haven’t been much cooler.  So walking at 4:30 definitely has been much more tolerable.

One of the disadvantages to walking the dogs in the dark, is I can’t see any spider webs until I walk into one and this year there has been an abundance of spider webs stretching from the tree branches to the ground.    It’s probably a good thing no one else is around to witness me flaying my arms around trying to get the sticky strands off my face and rubbing my head searching for unwanted guests, while still holding the leashes in one hand.  Occasionally I let out a shriek too, just for good measure.  The dogs jerk around looking for the intruder or intruders ready for fight or flight.  I’ve even made Charlie growl ready to kill something.

Though there are no other people out, we are not alone.  We often cross paths with raccoons, opossums and deer.  We’ve heard some strange sounds in the woods around us that have made the dogs stop, perk up their ears and move in the opposite direction to the noise.  I’m not sure what animal made the cries and I’m sure that I want to meet it in the dark.  I have learned to constantly scan the area ahead and to watch the dogs and their behavior.  If their ears are up and are very alert, sniffing the air or straining on the leashes I know something else is out there.  I’ve been caught off guard too many times in the past.  Nothing like having your shoulders ripped out of the sockets.

The biggest minus to walking in the predawn hours is running across the crazies.  What is it about the dark and the crazies?  I have a neighbor that comes out of his house to water the plants, pick up the paper or get his mail from the day before in various stages of undress.  More undress than dress.  One time he was wearing a very short sarong to unload plants out of the back of his truck.  It wasn’t a pretty sight.  Walking upon a naked man watering his plants at 5:00 am is not the way to start your day.  I have since changed my route in the morning because of it.

But all in all, after weighing all of pluses and minuses, I wouldn’t change the time of our walking routine for a minute, maybe only the location (somewhere on the beach, in the mountains or the booger woods).