Month: August 2012

I Don’t Have Time for This

I should have known something would happen this morning on our walk.  I should have seen the signs. We had a full moon tonight, plus it was an orangish red color.  I think that is what some call Blood on the Moon.  Full moon and weird color must mean something.  Mitch said that he thought it meant a storm was coming.  I now think it meant weirdo coming.

Our predawn walk started off normally, dogs sniffing the air and scanning the dark looking for something to charge after to see if I will be the boat anchor dragging behind them.  I’m always on guard for any possible intruder in the dark just to make sure I don’t become a casualty of the charge.  As we came over the top of the hill a bluish light shining at the top of one the utility poles caught my eye.  There has never been a light there before.  I looked around turning a complete circle looking for the source of the light but saw nothing or no one in the shadows.  The light went out then came back on causing me to look around again looking for the source.  No luck. 

I considered all of the possible solutions to this and came up with three possible answers.  Option A – some creep hiding in the dark trying to scare me.  Option B – an extraterrestrial from some other world making first contact on earth.  Option C – a great big honkin’ lightening bug.  As much as I believe that there is intelligent life out there in the universe, I really don’t think that ET would make first contact with a woman and three dogs in the Midwest.  All I could offer him would be directions to someone who could help him.  And even though I believe that we have worked extra hard at screwing up our planet, I just don’t think that I saw a great big honkin’ lightening bug.  That leaves the only logical explanation for the light.  Some creep hiding in the dark trying to be cute.

If he is trying to scare me, guess what?  It didn’t work.  But I can tell the little creep this; if he does it again and I figure out where he’s hiding, I might just let the dogs off the leash.  I really don’t have time for this in the mornings.

Just a Routine Visit to the Vet?

Even a routine visit to the vet to get the dogs their six month bordetella vaccination is never dull.  People can call dogs “dumb” animals if they want, but those that do evidently don’t actually own dogs.  Our three love to go with us everywhere and when we can accommodate them, we do.  Before Orso that was easy for us.  AJ and Charlie were always happy and content just to be in the car with us.  When we got Orso, dog rides became arduous to say the least.  He will howl and bark at us when he doesn’t get to get out of the car to go in when us.  Getting to ride in the car being out and about isn’t enough for him, he wants to get out of the car and go inside the store with us too.   Now he has succeeded in getting the other two to bark and carry on along with him.  Very painful on the ears, plus the looks from other bystanders are very embarrassing.  We’ve even been paged while shopping at Cabelas, that “the station wagon with the barking dogs, has left your lights on.”  I made Mitch go and turn off the lights on the car; I didn’t want anyone to know who owned the heathens.

A trip to the vet, no big deal, right?  Wrong, Orso remembers where places are and how we get there.  Once we start out on our treks, he gets his bearings and depending on where we are going he starts howling and barking at us, even before he knows whether or not he gets to get out or has to stay in the car.  Very annoying, makes me crazy having a dog bark at the back of my head to yell at me.  Coincidence, no,  because he doesn’t bark at us at the gas station or when I drop Mitch off at work in the morning, he knows that we’re not staying.  Not so dumb, huh.  He knows the road to the vet and starts barking and raising hell as soon as we pass the grocery store. 

Today we had the added bonus of road construction.  Yay.  Lane and road closures, oh goody.  The road to vet is closed and the only way in was to take the roundabout and go through the very exclusive golf course and housing addition that the vet’s office is by.  Here we were driving a seventeen year old station wagon with three dogs sticking their heads out of the windows barking at golfers and residents as we snaked our way through the detour to get to the vet.  We looked like the poster child for chaos.  Thank god no one holding a golf club was within throwing distance to our car.  Though I’m sure we caused a few muffed shots. 

After today I think the city may rethink their detour route after all the nasty phone calls they will probably receive.

Demons and Dreams

Imagine being sound asleep blissfully dreaming about exotic locales with a handsome dark stranger, when you are rudely awakened to the sounds of a vicious dog fight in your bedroom.  There was growling followed by whimpering, then more growling and snarling followed with more whimpering.  It sounded like one of the dogs had gone off the deep end and was about to rip the head off of the poor victim.  I sat straight up in bed scanning the room ready to leap out of bed to stop the impending melee.

But none of the dogs were awake.  Once again, Orso was sound asleep dreaming of what I’m not sure, but doing battle with himself in his sleep.  He was like an actor in a play, playing two roles, the hero and the villain.  He was lying at the foot of the bed twitching and growling, then jerking his head back and whimpering.  It must have been an epic battle in his dreams.  I watched him for a few minutes fighting with his demon and crying because the demon was hurting him.  It was spooky and comical at the same time.  I stroked his back to calm him and hopefully save him from the demon in his dream. 

Orso finally stopped the fight, I wonder who won.  Now the real battle begins.  Will I be able to get back to sleep before the alarm goes off at 2:30am?

I’ve Been Acclimatized

I’ve been acclimatized!  It all started last winter.  We had a very mild dry winter, no complaints here.  That weather pattern carried on into spring, delivering a warmer, drier than normal spring, still very few complaints.  I was able to get my garden planted earlier, did a bunch of dividing and transplanting plants.  I even fertilized and spread weed killer on the yard.  That’s when the rain officially stopped here.  Finally we have had the summer from hell, literally.  This has been the driest year on record and one of the hottest in history.  Absolutely miserable.  We’ve had to water, water and water constantly, driving to me consider getting a second job just to pay the water bill.

Finally the sweltering heat dropped down from the hundreds to a more normal realm of the eighties and low nineties.  Yesterday I walked out of work to go to lunch and was greeted with eighty six degree temperatures and thought it felt very comfortable and mild.  Can you believe that, eighty six degrees and I thought it felt very comfortable and even a little cool with the wind blowing?  I had to look at the thermometer just to confirm the actual temperature.  This morning we took the dogs on their morning walk at 4:30 and it was sixty five degrees, where was my jacket?  This does not bode well for me when we revert back to our normal freezing winter. 

I may have to start wintering in Florida.

What A Day – Is This An Omen?

Do you believe in omens? Most of the time I don’t, but sometimes there are days. I believe you make your own karma. You make a conscious decision to be happy and look for the positive in your life or you choose to be miserable, it’s your choice. But there are times when I wonder if there is a greater power at work and just for some galactic grins and giggles, picks some hapless soul to screw with that day. If this is truly the case, then I must have drawn the black marble today.

For starters, it started to rain this morning, a good thing with this drought, but the weather forecasters had predicted rain this evening and I had planned a Walmart run on my way to work. Walmart is open twenty-four hours a day and going at six in the morning and missing the crowds is a bonus. No big deal, but with the thunder and lightning, AJ makes a trip to Pete and Mac’s for doggie day care, because he is terrified of thunder and lightning. His terror turns outward and he leaves a swathe of destruction in his path. Pete and Mac’s doesn’t open until 6:30, so no Walmart trip. That means weekend crowds for me. Yay.

Because of the aborted Walmart trip, I was ready to go early but couldn’t so I decided to make a side trip to the bank and deposit a check I had received. Guess what, the ATM is not covered, so my left arm and side of my head got wet pushing buttons, inserting deposit envelope and retrieving the receipt. Lovely. My next stop was Pete and Mac’s to drop off AJ. Of course, AJ wanted to stop and pee on the way in, so now I have matching wet arms and head. The day is just getting better by the minute. I got AJ dropped off and got to meet a really sweet large Bloodhound, a plus.

I hopped on the highway to go to work or at least tried to hop on the highway. Some jerk decided he needed the right lane and wouldn’t budge, even though no one was in any other lane. Where is my bazooka when I need it?  Driving down the highway I decided to turn the knob from air conditioning to vent and the knob jumped off and dropped to the floor board somewhere on the passenger side.  Super.  Halfway to work and the windows started fogging up from the humidity and I can’t adjust the temperature control because the frigging knob is somewhere out of reach.  I guess I’ll know when I hit something by the sudden deceleration. 

After a miserable day at work with a pounding headache, I come home to try and relax after taking the dogs for a walk.  And the crowning achievement to my day, AJ charged after a flock of geese jerking the leash, dislocating the little finger on my left hand.  My consolation for the day was my sacrifice saved some other poor soul from a torturous day.

Life in the Slow Lane

AJ with that look of total devotion and love.  You can’t buy that anywhere, you have to earn it.

When it’s too hot to wrestle outside, our bed becomes the perfect soft spot for baring teeth and showing how “tough” they are.

Orso standing on the bed sticking his tongue out at AJ just like a little kid saying, “Come and get me, I dare you!”