It’s a Jungle Out There

Our predawn walk today was almost like a trip to the zoo.  Lions and tigers and bears oh my.  Well not quite lions and tigers and bears, but plenty of other wild animals crossed our path this morning.  I almost felt like Marlin Perkins. 

No sooner than we started off up the hill from the house did we run across a small herd of deer mingling in the neighbor’s yard.  Orso lunged forward with an extremely loud woof, startling the deer causing them to bolt and run up over the hill beyond us.  After I put my shoulder back in the socket we resumed our walk.  I had my fingers crossed inside my mittens that we were now going to be animal free.  Not so.  You would think that I would be used to being wrong all the time.

As we topped the hill and started down there was a very large opossum sauntering across the road without a care in the world.  Stupid opossum.  Both dogs charged down the hill toward the opossum with a five foot one and a half inch boat anchor in tow, me.  It took about fifteen steps before I could regain control and halt the charge, because now the opossum has seen the charging dogs and decided to play possum and faint.  Really stupid animal.  Just what I need, an unconscious wild animal, two dogs ready to eat the unconscious wild animal and with my luck the wild animal would wake up and decide to fight back.  With much tugging and pulling and a few choice words spoken softly so as not to rouse the sleeping opossum and the neighbors, I finally pulled them past the critter and moved on. 

We ran across no more animals on the way to the dam so I was becoming hopeful we would not see anything else.  Well almost right this time, but not quite.  At the dam, to the left of us was the lake and to the right is a park area complete with a shelter house, picnic table and grill.  Below the dam is a nice greenway that we take the dogs to and let them run and work off pent up energy.  Well this morning at the base of one of the two large Sycamore trees was a large raccoon hugging the base of the tree frozen and making no movement just watching us very alertly.  Luckily for me the wind was blowing across us from the left to the right, masking the raccoon’s scent.  The dogs had no idea that fifteen feet from us this raccoon was waiting and watching, ready to scurry up the tree if the need should arise.  As we walked past, I turned back and saw the raccoon walk across the road to the lake and disappear in the dark. 

Maybe I need to make a standing appointment with my chiropractor.

Where Did I Put My Night Vision Goggles?

Oh wait; I don’t have any night vision goggles. I really needed them this morning on our “normal” pre-dawn walk, though. As always, the dogs will walk and sniff sedately for most of the walk, to lull me into a false sense of security that nothing will happen. Surprise! You would think that I would learn by now that something always happens when I am least prepared to deal with an unpleasant surprise, such as being the boat anchor behind three charging dogs.

We were walking on the long dark stretch of road that I refer to as “The Lake Road”. That’s not what the road is actually called, but that’s what I call it. It’s the road that leads to the lake, hence “The Lake Road”. There are no houses on either side of that particular stretch of road, just a ravine on one side and a hill on the other side of the road. Anyway I digress; we were on our way back home when the dogs all converged on one spot for a group sniff. Nothing unusual about that, they do this all the time, we call it huffing. The group sniff lasted for a few seconds when all three lunged at something in the underbrush with Charlie and Orso growling at the unseen threat. I jerked back on the leashes not seeing anything and hoping that whatever was hidden in the dark would stay hidden in the dark.

As soon as my heart returned to normal rhythm I looked back to make sure we were not being followed by whatever it was that they wanted to eat. I picked up the pace just in case. I really was curious as to what made them act that aggressive toward the unseen “whatever” it was.

Now I know what I want for Christmas.

I Don’t Have Time for This

I should have known something would happen this morning on our walk.  I should have seen the signs. We had a full moon tonight, plus it was an orangish red color.  I think that is what some call Blood on the Moon.  Full moon and weird color must mean something.  Mitch said that he thought it meant a storm was coming.  I now think it meant weirdo coming.

Our predawn walk started off normally, dogs sniffing the air and scanning the dark looking for something to charge after to see if I will be the boat anchor dragging behind them.  I’m always on guard for any possible intruder in the dark just to make sure I don’t become a casualty of the charge.  As we came over the top of the hill a bluish light shining at the top of one the utility poles caught my eye.  There has never been a light there before.  I looked around turning a complete circle looking for the source of the light but saw nothing or no one in the shadows.  The light went out then came back on causing me to look around again looking for the source.  No luck. 

I considered all of the possible solutions to this and came up with three possible answers.  Option A – some creep hiding in the dark trying to scare me.  Option B – an extraterrestrial from some other world making first contact on earth.  Option C – a great big honkin’ lightening bug.  As much as I believe that there is intelligent life out there in the universe, I really don’t think that ET would make first contact with a woman and three dogs in the Midwest.  All I could offer him would be directions to someone who could help him.  And even though I believe that we have worked extra hard at screwing up our planet, I just don’t think that I saw a great big honkin’ lightening bug.  That leaves the only logical explanation for the light.  Some creep hiding in the dark trying to be cute.

If he is trying to scare me, guess what?  It didn’t work.  But I can tell the little creep this; if he does it again and I figure out where he’s hiding, I might just let the dogs off the leash.  I really don’t have time for this in the mornings.