When we demolished and rebuilt our deteriorating retaining wall, we found a huge granite boulder buried under the wall. We paid someone to come and unearth it for us. He unearthed it easily and even placed the boulder in the exact spot I wanted it moved to. In front of our house is a flat area that people will park on to visit the people across the street. Digging ruts in our yard and never bothering to ask if we mind. I have long been contemplating various possible solutions to the problem. Landmines, punji sticks and curled razor wire seemed a bit over the top, but I was getting close to my wit’s end as to what to do. I had long considered a boulder but the size I needed was cost prohibitive, so it was very timely that we literally were sitting on the very solution to my problem and a legal solution to boot. Bonus! Of course when the man with the backhoe came out and moved the boulder for us the offending neighbors were out in force to watch with great interest. Questions were asked as to why I had it put there and to be polite I just said that it was the perfect spot. I would plant some ornamental grasses around it and how pretty it would look and yada-yada-yada. Nothing was said at the time about my rock putting a damper on our yard being a parking spot, maybe they hadn’t figured it out yet. I just played it off as being totally oblivious to anything but my new rock.
I decided to dig up some of my ornamental grass that has just taken over and is growing in places I don’t want it to, and replant in clumps around the back of the boulder to accentuate the rock. Plus it makes the rock look even bigger. Another bonus; rock looks bigger, takes up more space! Of course while I’m digging holes around the rock, a neighbor comes over to ask what I was doing. I looked down at the holes and the temptation was strong to tell him that I had hacked Mitch up and was burying body parts around the boulder, but I restrained myself and explained the obvious, since the grass was laying in clumps next to the rock. Just as I was finishing up planting the last clump, the neighbor turned and told me that I had put the rock in the wrong spot. I looked around, played dumb and said, “The wrong spot? Really?” Since I wasn’t playing into it, he had no opening to say that I’d ruined an awesome parking spot for anyone that wanted to use our yard as a Parking Spots R Us. He said that if I wanted to sit on the rock the only view I had was his house. I said that maybe someone would sit there to wait for a bus. The only bus that comes by is a school bus and it doesn’t stop here. He said that maybe he would sit on my rock. Again the temptation was great to say something really wicked and evil, but all I said was that he could sit on my rock whenever he wanted to.
But now I’m worried that if want to do anymore landscaping I’ll put it in the wrong spot.