Mitch told me this morning that we were the same story, just different editions so you wind up with the same story content being on different pages. I asked him to explain what he meant. He said that when I ask if he’s happy his usual answer is that he’s okay. Okay to him is that yes, he’s happy and content. He went on to say that while his happiness level on a scale of ten, he is maybe a five or a six (perfect for him), my happiness level is closer to a nine or a ten. The reason for his declaration was that yesterday I had confronted him and asked point blank if he was happy because he had been walking around for almost a year now with this look of desperate misery. He has been more closed than normal and giving off people repellent vibes. I gave him the chance to clear the air and tell me up front what it would take for him to be happy. I’m a true believer in making yourself happy because no one else out there is going to. If you can’t be happy and content with yourself how can you possibly be happy in any kind of relationship?
I have to explain something about Mitch. Mitch is reserved, closed and mostly very stoic. A classic introvert. I think he was born old, an old soul is how his mother used to describe him. Me, I’m probably never going to grow up. Where is the fun in that? I on the other hand am open, happy most of the time and very demonstrative. An extrovert through and through. He was raised in a family that didn’t touch much, very little hugging, while I was raised in a family that hugged and kissed all the time. We told each other that we loved them (not my brother when he was kid – yuck!). That was a real challenge for Mitch, getting used to me touching and kissing him especially in public. In reality we are total opposites, maybe that is what attracted me to him, the quiet reserve. I wanted to dig and uncover the fire underneath all the layers. And yes there is a fire way down deep.
He went on to explain that he is very task oriented and focuses all of his attention and energy on the one task at hand. He does not multi-task well. That was why he was coming off distracted. It’s like a news reel in his head, total focus on the current project or problem. Right now it is the remodel of the dining room and before that, The Great Bathroom Remodel, where every forward progress was accompanied with two steps back. Maybe I’m working him too hard.
I know that I’m a challenge to live with and he certainly is too, but isn’t that half the fun, having to figure out what truly makes us tick?