My Rose Garden

So far the real downside to breast cancer is that I had to give up my hormones. I know that in the great grand scheme of things, giving up taking hormones is insignificant to staying alive, but these hot flashes are miserable. That sounds petty and small to some I’m sure, but until you’ve had a hot flash you have no idea what I’m talking about.

You don’t know what to wear, either you don’t have enough clothes on or way too many and sometimes not enough on that you can remove them in public. You never know when one is going to strike, no warning, just all of a sudden there is blast furnace turned up on high inside you and you can’t get any cooling relief fast enough. I keep a small fan on my desk and am constantly turning it on and off, to the point that I’m starting to get the crazy eye looks from some of my coworkers. Of course, they’re a little scared of me under normal circumstances anyway, so this just adds to the fear.

Its small comfort that it’s late autumn and winter is coming, maybe it won’t be so bad with colder weather. Of course the neighbors will think I’ve lost my mind when I’m walking the dogs in a snowstorm wearing a short sleeve t-shirt and shorts.

Stupid breast cancer, couldn’t it have been something else that could have caused it besides hormones? I would have gladly given up turnips or fish, (even though I don’t eat turnips or fish anyway) to save myself from breast cancer. Of course I don’t know for sure that the hormones caused the breast cancer, not yet anyway. I’ll find that out after the surgery when they take it all out and some of my lymphatic system too. It just sucks that not only do I have to worry about breast cancer, but I have to be miserable off and on too.

Where is that rose garden, nobody ever promised me anyway?

14 thoughts on “My Rose Garden

  1. God that does sound miserable, and I doubt anyone’s going to bring that “just be glad yr alive” statement up just because there are some things yr not happy about having to deal with while having cancer. And their a prick if they do. I’m just glad your making it through. It always amazes me when I hear about people going through serious life changing illnesses and still being able to smile.

    1. Thank you for reading my post. I agree with you but you would be surprised at some of the “advice and comments” given. Anyway I try to keep humor a part of my life because the alternative is unacceptable.

    1. Don’t be embarrassed at all. What I wrote is true. I also write fiction, poetry and humorous stories about my life and life with our dogs. I consider it all creative writing. Please check out some of my earlier posts and let me know what you think. I love input and comments. Susan

  2. Seems we always have to plant those rose gardens ourselves, doesn’t it? Well, ya know, I get more satisfaction out of them that way anyhow, how about you?

    I really had no idea hot flashes were that bad, I am in for a LOT of trouble in a few years. I just have the feeling I will not take to the stuff they decide to give me, and I HATE being hot! Do you get to take the hormones again after the surgery, or are they a forever no-no? I don’t know much about this stuff, my mom had a full hysterectomy shortly after I was born, and they didn’t give her anything for years (until she had serious bone loss and cracked ribs coughing, WTH). I don’t really have anyone else to ask!

    1. You’re right about that, I do appreciate it more when I have to work for it, but sometimes it would nice if it came easier. Some women don’t have bad hot flashes, some don’t ever get them and for some it is misery. The other part that is bad for me at least, is the night sweats. Cool and comfortable sound asleep and all of a sudden I wake up soaking wet and hot. I’m with you, I hate being HOT!

      I don’t know if hormones are a no-no forever, but I was thinking the same thing too and thought about asking my doctor if after I might be able to take them again.

      I also take Fosamax for osteopenia, because I started to have bone loss, but am doing much better because of taking it. I’m really sorry for your mother, she had a terrible time of it.

      I don’t mind, and love talking. Ask me anything. And if you want to have a long conversation sometime I up for that too.


  3. Totally understand. I could handle them during the day, but at night… A friend gave me a tip years ago. She was much older and this tip is from her mom (both lived pre the availability of hormones). She suggested keeping a big glass of ice water handy and when you feel a hot flash coming on, take a big drink of it. She said that is how she got through. It didn’t really work for me though. 🙂

  4. Dear Susan, your journey with this has moved on now. We ‘manage’ hormones all our lives don’t we and they thank us by biting us on the bum!!Sending healing hugs. Xx

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