Taking Stock

Christmas is just two weeks away and this year is so different from previous holidays. This year instead of planning and preparing dinner for one son, his wife and daughters on Christmas Eve and doing it again on Christmas Day for the other son, his wife, daughters and the rest of us. Christmas Eve was usually prime rib and Christmas Day was chicken parmesan with spaghetti and meatballs. Two whole days spent cooking and baking, cleaning and making sure everything was perfect. A bit obsessive, maybe but I love cooking and baking and creating food that people enjoy eating. This year will be a lot different from our past holiday dinners, this year Christmas dinner will be something quick and easy, maybe pizza, maybe leftovers, it will be just the two of us and Mitch will have to leave to go to work.

I have been feeling a bit off, a long way from everything known, routine and comfortable, not that I don’t love where I’m at now and what I’m doing, it’s just a lot different, out of my comfort zone. Since we are still in an apartment, the majority of our belongings are still in storage, most of my cookware, all of my Christmas decorations and cookbooks are not here to put up or use, so I feel like we’re living in an extended stay hotel. Not really home.

Up until now I hadn’t been lonely, even though I work from home and the regular outside contacts I have are my hairdresser I see once a month and our realtor who is patient beyond belief trying to help us find our dream house. Our friends that live here are wonderful, but with our crazy work schedules, social life doesn’t exist, not that we had much of a social life before. So I’m not missing out on that here.

At first I couldn’t put my finger on it, what my problem was, then it dawned on me, I have no problems. I have a husband that loves me, two dogs that make me crazy and would eat anyone that tried to hurt me, (I am the giver of food) and living in a beautiful wonderful place that I get to make new memories. We won’t have the hustle and hectic days of cooking and cleaning, but we will have each other, and that’s what really matters.

Yes, it’s been a very chaotic year with so much upheaval and change, but maybe that’s what you need sometimes, great change. Life, like water that doesn’t move grows stagnant and complacent, forgetting the truly important things in our world. Our family may be thousands of miles away and I won’t be there to cook for them, or watch them open their presents, but I can call and talk to them anytime, not just on Christmas.

The year is coming to an end and the New Year brings promises of hope and change, yes there must always be change, not all changes are good but all changes are not bad either. I embrace the future and all the changes to come.

9 thoughts on “Taking Stock

  1. Susan, I loved your gratitude. I miss our short visits in the street. I enjoy your essays on your new journey!!!
    Peace on Earth during the holidays and new year! Linda

  2. Well said, sister; it’s pretty amazing, isn’t it, that all the things we need to know are almost always right there inside, if we remember to take a look in there occasionally? You’ve described the acquisition of a valuable piece of wisdom many never come to realize; change is good, and, we humans need some of it regularly to remind us of the reality we live in, but, often get distracted by life from fully seeing. It also seems to work better if there is a certain amount of adversity involved; it tends to bring out our more useful talents. such as courage, and imagination….

    Great post! And, if being so far away gets too onerous, there is always Skype…. It’s free, and you can talk to anyone with a computer, anywhere in the world, for the same price…. face to face…. It’s a great invention for us grandparent types….


    1. Aww you are so wise thank you. It helped me feel better after writing it down. I could put a finger on my feelings and realized all that I have to be grateful for. It’s just space between there and here that’s all.

      Thank you for reading.

  3. It’s only sad to me that your baking gear is packed away! Decorations are everywhere you look, your family is within reach if not within touch. But the joy of being able to create for others is something you could still do, if not for the lack of equipment. You could bake for a shelter, or a fun local group, or send things off with hubby, even. Boo.
    I think not having to do the rest of the work is a good thing, you have had to do enough hard work this year. And I’m happy I know you, so every time I ‘see’ you it makes my day better. No more precious gift!

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