This is a Public Service Announcement or You’re Doing It Wrong!

What is it with people today? Is everyone so self-absorbed that they don’t realize there is a world going on around them and they are not the center of the universe? Well news flash, the rest of the world doesn’t give two cents about your well-being. Today and only for today, I am climbing up on my soapbox to put this public service announcement out there for the general public.

Would you put yourself in harm’s way on purpose? Would you turn your back on a charging bull and believe that because you have opposable thumbs you are safe? Of course not! Who would turn their back on potential, impending danger and not do anything to keep themselves safe? So why is it every day I encounter some self-absorbed person walking, running or walking their dog on the wrong side of the road. These people are walking along with traffic, some with their nose in their phone, some not, but they are still oblivious to the fact that all it takes is one distracted driver or one trying to miss oncoming traffic to swerve a bit and they get slammed in the back. And I guarantee you that the person walking is going to lose in that moment.

I was taught a long time ago that walkers and runners go against traffic, which makes perfect sense, that way you at least have a fighting chance. If I can see danger coming at me, I have that split second to get out of the way or at the very least, if I live through being run down, I can give the police a description and license number.

So here it is, my public service announcement:

“You’re Doing It Wrong!” Cross the road and walk facing oncoming traffic, arrive alive!”

And as my mother used to say, “Don’t make me come other there and shake some sense into you!”

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Yoga Stylin’

Let me preface this by saying I am not trying to make fun of anyone in particular, except maybe myself. I’m a very easy target and there is so much about me to laugh at, I don’t need to mock anyone else. In an effort to get in better shape, stronger and leaner, I have started taking yoga classes again. A noble quest, to get stronger, balanced and more at peace with myself. By now you’re saying to yourself, “Yeah right,” and you would be correct. Me balanced and at peace with myself? Not going to happen, ever. But I keep working at it. You know what they say, it’s the journey not the destination and for me a long journey.

As I was saying, I started taking a yoga class at a local yoga studio. I decided that I would start with one class a week for five weeks. This way I could get a feel for the class, instructor and if I could even keep up. Surprisingly, I kept up well with the movements and flow, moving into poses that I had forgotten I could do. I even tried my hardest not to look around at the other students, knowing if I did, my super competitive nature would take over and I would be challenging myself to do each move faster, higher or lower than anyone else. Even though yoga is not a game to win, but a lifestyle, I have to be mindful not to try and turn it into a competition.

I noticed that all the other participants seem to know each other and the instructor quite well. I was the odd man out so to speak. In order to not try and interject myself into everyone else, I would place my mat at the back all the way to the left so I could observe and stay somewhat separated from the others. Plus added bonus, I was closest to the door, so if I did something truly embarrassing, I could pick up my stuff and be out the door without walking past everyone else. You know, something like crashing into the next person, while trying to stand in tree pose or farting while in dead bug pose. It happens.

On my last class, we were going through a series of movements, from downward dog to plank, then back to downward dog when I looked up to see what the instructor wanted us to do next and instead I saw the rear end of the woman in front of me and to the right. Not trying to stare, but she just happened to be in the right position with her butt stuck up in the air and her yoga pants were stretched tight. Her black stretch pants were not very thick, instead quite thin letting me see that she had on white underwear under the pants. I could not look away fast enough. Now I had this visual I couldn’t shake, no matter how hard I tried. All I could think of was, “Oh god, does my butt look that bad? Don’t look again, no don’t look.”

For the rest of the class I tried to watch the instructor but not see the “see-through show” in front of me. I am sorry to say I didn’t say anything to the woman, but at the same time what would I have said? “Nice white underwear or I bet you didn’t get hot in class.” All I wanted was to get out of class, go home and look in the mirror.

Future yoga classes will see me in something very opaque, maybe leggings and sweats?