I did not enjoy our walk this afternoon, no not at all. It started off so promising. Mitch was busy putting brakes on my car when I got home from work, so I fed the dogs and changed my clothes. I put their harnesses on them, grabbed my phone, stuffed a couple of poop bags in my pocket and grabbed the leashes off the coat rack. We walked outside, I leashed each one up and told Mitch we would be back shortly and would fix dinner then. It was a beautiful afternoon, mid-seventies and a light breeze, perfect for a dog walk.
Nobody else was around just the dogs and me; we were about halfway to the dam when Charlie stopped to sniff something in the ditch next to the road, took a step and jerked sideways and sort of jumped and limped to the road both at the same time. I looked at him and he was holding his left foot up as if he had stepped on something and cut his paw or had been bitten. I looked down at his elevated paw and saw something sticking out between two of his toes. It looked like a small stick sticking out of a dark brown rock wedged between his toes.
So being the loving caring pet owner I am, I reached down to pull it out. Imagine my surprise and disgust when I discovered it wasn’t a rock wedged between his toes, but instead it was dog poop. I now have dog poop on my left thumb. Gross! Charlie had stepped in some other dog’s feces and was as disgusted about it as I was when I touched it. I walked over and pulled a leaf off of a bush to try and wipe as much off of my thumb as possible. I didn’t have a Kleenex with me and if I did it would have been in my pocket and I certainly wasn’t going to stick my poopy thumb in my pocket to retrieve it.
After wiping as much as I could off of my thumb, I picked a bigger leaf to try and wipe the poop off of Charlie’s toes. Charlie was being his usual uncooperative self and jerked his paw away from me causing me to get dog poop on my right thumb. Now I have dog poop on both thumbs, I am thoroughly disgusted and feel super gross. I can’t touch anything with my thumbs because I don’t want to get the gross icky poop on anything else. I decided to turn around and walk back home. I held the leashes in each palm curling my fingers around them with my thumbs sticking straight out so I wouldn’t accidently touch anything with my thumbs.
Halfway home and so far so good, no other people or dogs show up and both dogs are behaving rather well, when all of a sudden now I have a goddam gnat flying at my face. There was nothing I could do, I couldn’t swat it, just wave my arms around like a crazy woman and jerk my head spasmodically to try and keep it away. I can only imagine what someone thought if anybody looked out of their window at me.
Where is a wet wipe when you need it?
15 thoughts on “The Walk from Hell”
are you going civilized on us ? 🙂
Not a chance!
a day that hard could really “poop” you out. 🙂
No pun intended.
Sounds like the sort of episode Max Granky would have to endure LOL
Poor Max, he is put upon enough. It was probably better that I endured than him. Besides I think Max would have just told his dog to deal with it himself.
Is it okay if I laughed a little?
Of course, I laughed at me too, after I had washed my hands five times with 2 different types of soap. I even considered soaking my thumbs in bleach, but thankfully I had wine to help me reconsider.
Nightmare! Ruby went through a stage of rolling in every bit of dog poo she could find. I feel for you:)
I’m glad Ruby grew out of that stage. At least when Charlie rolled in something I had warning and didn’t touch him until we were back home washing him down.
What a terrible situation to be in..
Susan, you made me laugh! I am glad Charlie’s foot was not terribly wounded! Lk
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That was my end goal, because I am pretty sure I looked very silly walking with thumbs stuck out and waving my arms around.
Sounds like quite a walk. Yuck on the poo.
Looking back the funniest part was Charlie standing there with his foot raised like a girl and this from the dog that loves rolling in dead things. Go figure.